“We often confound our physiological state with our emotions, but we can feel those really big emotions such as love, grief and awe while not saying something awful or hurting someone,” she says. “Yoga helps us to learn this mindfulness and separation.” That’s why “kindness yoga” has caught on as a new way to integrate your practice into your life and relationships. But what is kindness yoga, exactly, and how can you start practicing it now? Here’s everything you need to know.
What is Kindness Yoga?
The four divine states of yoga, also called the “Four Immeasurables” or the “Four Perfect Virtues” focus on compassion, empathy, equanimity and loving-kindness. In Sanskrit, “maitri” means the active goodwill toward all, including the self through self-love and self-kindness. “We’re always working on our own experiences of self-worth and cultivating our inner lives,” says Cook-Cottone, a professor at the University of Buffalo in New York. Her research focuses on embodied self-regulation through yoga, mindfulness and self-care and psychosocial disorders such as trauma and eating disorders. Cook-Cottone writes about kindness in her books Mindfulness and Yoga in Schools and Mindfulness and Yoga for Self-Regulation: A Primer for Mental Health Professionals. “What’s the other side of love? Fear. If we don’t turn toward love, our defensive neurobiological systems are designed to turn toward self-protection and a negative mindset,” she says. “Loving-kindness allows us to love without fear.” Ultimately, kindness yoga is about spending time with yourself and becoming friends with yourself, which then extends to trust and friendship with others. When you can accept your own feelings, mistakes and victories, you can forgive and celebrate—both yourself and loved ones.
Why do yogis love this principle?
Loving-kindness seems particularly apt in a world filled with social media, negativity, anxiety and distrust, says Giselle Shardlow, who runs KidsYogaStories.com. Based in Boston, Shardlow creates yoga books, yoga pose cards and yoga activities that parents and families can do with children to encourage creativity, movement and happiness. “Especially right now, it’s an important time to think about being kind to ourselves and others,” she says. “It’s so important for both children and adults in terms of talking about nonviolence toward ourselves and others and how we can show kindness to our classroom and community.” As part of her kindness practice, Shardlow likes to focus on the Sanskrit word “Ahimsa,” which means respect for all living things and nonviolence. This includes respecting the environment and helping others, she often teaches her daughter. “Children are so bombarded with negative messages, and they often deal with more emotional dysregulation among peers that we didn’t have when we were younger,” she says. “They don’t feel belonging, and it’s hard for them to find their way.”
How can kindness yoga extend to others?
While practicing yoga poses, it’s important to remember that the foundation of Indian spirituality (where yoga originated) says that everything in creation—people, animals, trees, even inert objects—are part of one divine essence. To meet that ideal, humans should speak, act and think in accordance with that idea, says Swami Amritaswarupananda, the head disciple of Amma, a Hindu spiritual leader in India who is highly revered by many yogis. “The compassion we feel in our hearts expresses itself through our words and acts of kindness,” says Amritaswarupananda, who often travels with Amma and serves as her translator. “When we put in effort to help others, our heart and mind expand.” By reducing your negativity and reactive impact on others, you’re also improving society. “Not only are we assisting others who genuinely need help, but in doing so we are also washing away our own selfishness and negativity,” he says.
Kindness yoga routine
Using positive affirmations and mantras during your yoga practice can keep the mind focused on the goal of kindness. Simply saying “I am kind” can work, Shardlow says. Think “I am” while breathing in and “kind” while breathing out. Another simple phrase is to ask yourself, “What is the greatest kindness I could do for myself? For another?” That’s what Patrick Harrington, co-founder of Kindness Yoga in Denver, Colorado, includes at the bottom of his email signature. It’s a reminder of how to “show up” each day. “Kindness can direct your actions in the same way that a spiritual edict might,” he says. “How you act and how you decide to be—kindness simplifies all of those things.”
Extended mountain
To practice an open, kindness-focused pose, consider the classic mountain pose, where you stand tall with feet grounded on the floor. Reach your arms over your head and place your palms together. “In general, heart-opening poses are great for this,” Shardlow says. “It’s about letting people in and inviting in kindness.”
Butterfly
Lay on your back with your legs bent open and feet touching. If uncomfortable, you can also put your knees together to the side, almost in fetal position but with the chest open. Cook-Cottone often encourages her clients to make decisions in this position by placing one hand on the stomach and one hand on the heart, connecting gut instinct with the emotional self and focusing on the intellectual self at the forehead. “Breathe in and check in with your three points of wisdom,” she says. If in deep pain, put both hands on your heart, she recommends, and experience your emotions. Similarly, if a friend is in pain, put your hand on the center of their back where the heart is and the other hand on your own heart. Breathe with them for a genuine “heart-to-heart,” no words necessary.
Kindness during stressful times
There’s no doubt that life can be stressful, but the principle of kindness and the movements in kindness yoga may help you handle the aspects that spark high emotions. Take a step further by planning a project with your family to express that kindness, Shardlow suggests. She and another mom hold “Project Pajama” each year, where they place collection boxes in school gyms and spots around the community to collect pajamas for those in need around the holidays. “Then at the store, we talk to our daughters about what it would be like to receive pajamas for the first time and be warm,” she says. “It fosters not just the giving but also the empathy and the conversation.” Showing kindness at the dinner table also helps, she adds. Rather than a once-a-year tradition, encourage your family to take turns going around the table saying what they’re grateful for and how they showed a random act of kindness that day. “It’s a ripe time for the U.S. to take on its role as a kinder nation with kinder individuals,” Harrington says. “It’s really about setting good boundaries around what we will and will not tolerate and how we will be thoughtful, purposeful and less reactive.” Need some extra motivation to get to class? Check out these celebrity quotes about yoga.
