On Day 25, Deshawn Radden had a hell of a time making fire. He was the first to get flame, nursing something small but strong. Then he began to self-sabotage, as his nervousness got the best of him, and he smothered his fire. But at the end, when it counted, he breathed life back into the flame, surging ahead to a close victory. And while much of the medical student’s journey mirrors that up-and-down experience, unfortunately, it did not end in the same outcome. After an incredibly eventful time on the island, he ultimately fell short, still finishing in a respectable second place. Throughout his tenure on the show, Deshawn beat the drum of the social game. And with nothing but time on the undefeated Luvu tribe in the premerge, he worked hard on crafting a bedrock of relationships, whether on his tribe like Danny McCray or across tribes like Evvie Jagoda. But idle hands can be the devil’s plaything, and the man who coined himself “Devious D-Rad” in the preseason showed he was capable of doing some cutthroat things with time to think. That included attempting to get Erika Casupanan voted out, be it by challenge throwing or an easy merge consensus boot. Perhaps this is why Deshawn ended up a surprising target of the minority in his first vote of the season. Unhappy with seeing his name get written down, he scrambled while using an extra vote and attempting to throw Evvie under the bus to save his skin. In retrospect, that moment was a great microcosm of how the rest of Deshawn’s game would go. While maintaining close bonds with nearly everyone, he grew nervous about his competitors and constantly tried to get ahead of the curveballs he thought would be thrown his way. That was the cause of a big rift between him and Shan Smith, which put their newly-founded all-Black alliance in jeopardy. When a plan was put together to eventually blindside Shan, Deshawn was all for it. Unfortunately, it put the podiatry student on the backfoot moving forward, as he saw his allies get taken out around him. Despite fracturing his relationships with “truth bombs,” Deshawn made it to the final three stumps, clinching it with a clutch and surprising firemaking win. In the end, he attempted to convince the jury that his impressive social game was deserving of the million dollars. And though it did get him Danny’s vote, the others felt his emotional and messy gameplay paled compared to Erika’s more calm and steady strategy. After the finale, Deshawn spoke with Parade.com about his reactions to the heat coming his way in the final Tribal Council, all of the important friendships and rivalries he had throughout the season, and how the remarks of him being “volatile and impulsive” inform the way he’s moving forward outside of the game. By the end of the final Tribal Council, did you think you still had a chance to win? Or at least some jury votes? Transparently, I went into the final Tribal Council thinking, and I had a shot. But as soon as I heard some of the questions from Ricard and Shan, I started to realize pretty soon that there was a direction that this was going, and it wasn’t going to be in my particular direction. I noticed that Xander and I were probably dead in the water. So it was really awkward to get a position in trying to still be hopeful that you could possibly win. But you also got to go by the questions that are being asked that you probably don’t stand a chance. That being said, how would you rate your performance in that final Tribal Council, considering what you just mentioned and your attempts to handle everything being thrown your way? I think I did okay. Going into the final Tribal, I think some of the players on the jury wanted to just get a reaction out of me because of some of the ways that I reacted during the season. I won’t say that that was a particular goal of anyone, but I do think that they were expecting me to be a little bit volatile. So I’m proud of the way that I was able to keep an even keel with such touchy subjects. When it came to Shan asking if I was using “the movement” for the game, that’s a subject that’s really, really close to my heart. And I think I show vulnerability throughout the season when it comes to that topic. So for it to come up from someone like Shan, who I consider a sister. It was tough, but I’m just glad that I was able to keep it together. Because had I not been, I think more people would have just been able to look at me and say, “Hey, there’s volatile Deshawn.” You and Danny formed that Day 1 bond that ended up becoming one of the most essential partnerships in the game, to the point where he was the one to give you his jury vote and a second-place finish. In my interview with him last week, he said that your partnership was you would be the one to come up with big plans and cause conflict, and he would be the one to calm you down and bring you down to earth. What’s your take on your dynamic? I mean, I think that was the truth from Danny’s perspective. And I think to a degree, he was right. I definitely went in wanting to play really, really big in most scenarios. And he was very much a more practical player. So I think Danny he was right in that sense. I do think that there were moments where we kind of played opposite roles. He might have wanted to swing big or have an idea that I kind of had to backtrack. I think that we really helped each other out in a lot of different ways. We definitely complement each other. I thought reading some of his exit press was interesting because it did feel like he was throwing me to the wolves. “This guy is the worst! He’s emotional; he’s volatile. I had to babysit him the entire time.” I get it if that’s how he felt. But it didn’t feel that way. It felt more like a brother. Brothers fight, and they argue, and they don’t always communicate in the cleanest way. That’s the way that I perceived the relationship. I guess to him, it felt more like a babysitter than a brother. And that’s no shade! (Laughs.) I saw him tonight, and that’s definitely my brother. But it was interesting to hear his take on how he perceives our partnership. It’s a bit more complex than that. Let’s talk about some of your other key relationships that weren’t shown as much on screen in Heather and Erika. When you make bonds with them starting on Luvu, did those come naturally? Or were you seeking them out in particular to cover your bases on the tribe? So interestingly enough, the edit completely took our relationships out of the equation. I got close to Heather on Day Two. We connected because Naseer was building the entire shoulder. He went on a walk, and Heather and I were like, “Well, what the hell do we do now? (Laughs.) We don’t want Naseer to come back, and we’ll have done nothing.” So Heather and I were the two to stand up and start chopping bamboo and really going hard on the shelter. And at that moment, we just connected. She’s a really funny, layered, multifaceted woman that I felt like I could learn from. So we connected really early on. I think that’s interesting how the edit played out. Danny was perceived as my number one, and he was. But if I had a number “one and a half,” it would definitely have been Heather. And I think the viewers would have never known that if I didn’t say that now. How about Erika? That’s a little more complicated, given that you wanted to get rid of her early on. I really like Erika on a personal level. From Day One, we talked about family, background, and culture. I realized that she was an amazing human being. But whenever I would talk strategy with Erika, I felt like I was getting non-committal answers all the time. But Erika and Heather were really close. And so I was kind of like the third person in that group, as well as part of the group with Sydney and Danny. It was a pretty good position to be in! But I think early on, the edit didn’t do that as much justice. One not-so-sunny relationship came with Shan. What exactly was it about the two of you that led to those conflicts and communication breakdowns in the postmerge? I think what it comes down to us is that we both came from positions of power in our original tribe. She clearly was running Ua. And you don’t see it as clearly, but I think I was doing that on Luvu. And Evvie was doing it on Yase. But I think the difference there is that Evvie came into the merge on the bottom. They didn’t have a lot of power to leverage compared to Shan and me. That four-way alliance was super personal for both of us. But we also had outside alliances, me with Heather and Erika, and Shan with Ricard and her idol. We were trying to balance the Black alliance while also trying to keep our “insurance policy” in our outside alliances in the game. And I think that that’s where you saw out of the clashes. Our biggest clash was the moment when Heather blew up Tribal Council. (Laughs.) And I had to step in and say, “I don’t want Heather to go home.” That’s a clear example of protecting my alliance outside of the four. And her telling Ricard that Danny and I were gunning in for him was a clear example of her trying to protect her outside alliance. We talk about why Danny and Liana didn’t really fight with Shan, and I did. And I think the answer to why that was the case was they were completely dedicated to the four. Shan and I had other options that we were trying to protect in case one of us stabbed the other in the back. We were both playing two or three steps ahead. And then we both ended up being completely derailed, and fell flat on our faces at the end of the day. (Laughs.) You had this huge moment a few episodes ago where you opened up about the difficulty in voting out Shan, and weighing supporting a cause outside of the game versus your own chances at a million dollars. How much did that moment at Tribal Council affect the way you approached the rest of your time on the island? Not only did it change the way that I looked at the game, it honestly made me not even care about the outcome of the game. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but that was something super persona. I remember days when I was sitting in my room at 19 years old, bawling because people like Philando Castile got killed by the police, and wondering why. So that wasn’t something that just sparked in the game. It was something that was with me for a long time. So when that emotion sparked up at Tribal Council, it wasn’t even about how I was going to move throughout the game from that point forward. It was more like, what does this mean for my life? What does it mean for me as a person? I mean, I was catastrophizing a little bit, let’s be honest. (Laughs.) But I put myself in a mindset where I was committing this really heinous crime. And I didn’t realize, that’s…it’s Survivor! It’s not that deep. Sometimes you have to stab your ally in the back, especially when your ally is trying to stab you! (Laughs.) But I guess all of the emotions and relationships with the topic at hand really take a toll on me. I got out of game mode and into the mode of deep regret and sadness. Let’s get into the “truth bomb” you dropped about Heather and Erika. What was your purpose behind it, and how awkward was it to face them the next day? So it’s not going to make a whole lot of sense, because it didn’t make a whole lot of sense, period! (Laughs.) It was a poor move. But I can take you back to Day 23. The more I thought about it, I realized I was in a position where it was Danny or me. In my head, I never thought there was a world where Danny would go over me. I thought for sure they were going to vote me out. I thought the way I was perceived was as a bigger threat. So going into that tribal council, I thought there was about a 2.5% chance that I would be staying in the game. So in my head, I was thinking, “If I can throw out this truth bomb and say, ‘Heather, you need to watch out for Erika,’ then I kind of bust the game wide open for Danny.” Or in the 2.5% chance that I stay, then at least that alliance is busted wide open, and it causes at least a little bit of friction so that I can maneuver my way in. It wasn’t until I watched the show back and realized that Erika was really campaigning for me that I felt awful from doing it. But in the game, with the perception that I had of Erika that I discussed previously, I didn’t think she was as truthful as she was telling me. And so I was thinking, “I think it’s going to be me. And if it is, let me drop this bomb so I can help Danny out.” That was the logic, but it didn’t quite work out the way I wanted it to. (Laughs.) You talked about leaving the game more confident in yourself, especially after that moment where you won the firemaking challenge despite struggling all season. Though you didn’t come away with the million dollars, what did you end up leaving the island with? Playing the game, so many people told me, “These are the things you need to work on.” And I was like, “Okay, I’m going to watch it back. And then I’ll let y’all know if I feel like I need to work on this. (Laughs.)” So when I watched this whole season back, I was like, “Oh my God, these people are right!” Even though some moments stemmed from touchy subjects, there were moments where I was very emotional. There were moments where I was very impulsive and very volatile. You have no choice but to watch yourself on TV, and if you don’t take accountability for that, you’re crazy. If you play the game I played and you come out saying, “I’m the greatest,” you need to do some work. (Laughs.) Watching the show back especially helped me grow. I don’t want some of the ways I responded to the game to trickle into how I respond to adversity in my real life. And so I’m just so grateful for people like Danny for the comments I mentioned before. He’s telling his truth. He felt like I was a bit emotional and impulsive. And I think that it was worse from somebody like him who I trusted and who I believed in and who I know isn’t trying to hurt me. It helped me realize that I need to come out in the game, watch the show back, and figure out how I can better myself. I’m thankful for the people who really exposed that to me. I’m hoping that I can take these traits into the real world. I’ve been doing okay with it so far. But now that the show’s over, I’m excited to see what else I can do. Next, check out our exit interview with Survivor 41 winner Erika Casupanan.
